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Case
File # 006
08.06.03 - Sighted
in BBChatter
Submitted by: Agent It's Aawwn
MISSION:
Obtain
information about an appearance by Agent Owens in a Discovery Channel
special; issue raised by a poster who had seen the show, however,
message and all replies have mysteriously been deleted.
RESOLUTION:
Pending
STATUS:
Unsolved
Case
File # 005
08.04.03 - Undisclosed
chatroom owned by Agent It's Aawwn
Submitted by: Agents Netbiscuit and It's Aawwn
MISSION:
Obtain
information about the novel written by Agent Owens and permission to
disclose basic plot outline and publication status. Data should include
instructions on how to obtain copy of said novel containing signature of
author.
RESOLUTION:
Pending
STATUS:
Unsolved
Case File # 004
08.03.03 - Electronic
Transmission
Submitted by: Agent Lori
MISSION:
Determine
identity of the "brown-eyed girl"; issue raised via a live
feed conversation during which an unnamed houseguest inquired about
Agent Owens' preference of eye color with regard to women. His response?
"Been thinking a lot about big brown eyes, lately."
RESOLUTION:
Received file
from Pat Owens, confirming her identity as the mystery girl.
STATUS:
100% Solved.
Case File # 003
07.16.03 - Her
mind
Submitted by: Agent Netbiscuit
MISSION:
Determine the
name of Agent Owens' cat; issue raised during internet chitchat
regarding marital status--feline companion was mentioned, but
information recovered from sources pertained only to beloved deceased
pet known as "Bush"; described as "great cat".
RESOLUTION:
Sources
confirm Bush the cat's status as "dead" and "great".
Source also provides identity of new feline companion as
"Buttercup". While we are uncertain about any
altercation that may have occurred between Agent Owens and Buttercup,
Owens appears to prefer the company of "Panda Bear", a
Maine Coon owned by the source.
STATUS:
100% Solved
Case File # 001
07.13.03 - Personal
Letter
Submitted by: Agent Netbiscuit
MISSION:
Determine if FBI Guy is an Elvis
guy or a Beatles guy; issue raised due to frequent mentions of Pulp
Fiction quote of similar nature via live feeds.
RESOLUTION:
Sources close to Agent
Owens reveal, " . . . he is a Beatles guy."
STATUS:
100% Solved
Case File # 002
07.16.03 - BB
Chatter
Submitted by: Agents Kenny, Turtle Toes, CF,
KellsyBellsy, C0350, Scandalous Diva, and i ride the little yellow bus
MISSION:
Determine Agent Owens' marital
status; issue raised due to notice of divorce on official BB4 CBS
website and numerous and conflicting mentions of a wife by Agent Owens
himself via live feeds.
RESOLUTION:
Sources close to Agent
Owens reveal, "He and his x-wife are back together--I don't
really know the circumstances around it though but I know they are
still officially divorced."
STATUS:
100% Solved. Can we have a
collective "Awwwww" from the peanut gallery please? We just
love a happy ending to a love story.
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