26, 2003 |
that your eviction appears imminent I am sure you will have some regrets
about how you played the game. I'm here to tell you, sir, you should
have NO REGRETS! You played a respectable, honorable game and I am very
proud of you. Never for a minute believe anything less. Sincerely. I
mean that. Without a doubt.
at night as you lie awake wondering how things might have gone
differently, don't ever let yourself think that:
- I'm sorry you didn't win more
competitions. On the contrary, I wish you could have stayed to lose
- I'm sorry you were unable to force
Jee to use the Power of Veto by squeezing the life from his little
- I'm sorry I picked FBIGUY.COM
instead of JEE-GUY.COM for a URL. (Is it too late to get JEE-GUY.COM?)
But as it is, you're not yet quite
gone. There is still some small tidbit of hope remaining in me as my
FBIGUY.COM world crashes down around me. Sometimes as I lie awake at
night, I wonder:
- Are you sure they can't let you
back into the house armed?
- Perhaps you could start a spinoff
show or something. (My idea for a TV show: FBI Guy goes mental on
the houseguests with a bullwhip and a taser).
- Was it really so unthinkable when
Julie asked you if you wanted to win the veto to just say,
"Hell yes Julie, I want the power of veto. Let those bastards
eat PB & J for the remainder of the show!" YOU COULD HAVE
SAVED YOURSELF! YOU COULD HAVE SAVED FBIGUY.COM FROM RUIN!!
AAHHH! At the very least you could have left a curse on them
for the rest of their days. YOU COULD HAVE SMOTE THEM LIKE THE WRATH
OF GOD! WHY DIDN'T YOU!!? AAHH! AAAHHHHHH!!1
No, Jack. I am not thinking any of
those things. You can, however, let yourself safely believe that:
- I am sorry to see you go.
- Your kind nature, sense
of humor, and cute fruit-hatted head will be sorely missed.
- This website will be meaningless